The Girl With the Pink Surfboard

At five o’clock, after the lifeguards climbed down from their stands and tourists dragged their coolers off the sand, the beach finally belonged to us.

That’s when we paddled out.

I was the girl with the pink surfboard.

Not because pink was fashionable—it wasn’t. The board had sat unsold at Kona Surf Shop for so long it practically looked abandoned. But the moment I saw it leaning against the rack, I knew it belonged to me.

Long before mountain trails, desert hikes, or red rock canyons, there was Wildwood Crest.

That’s where my love of moving through the world began.

Growing up at the Jersey Shore meant living between two worlds—the ocean on one side, the bay and Sunset Lake on the other. Close enough to smell saltwater no matter which way the wind blew.

Some of my best memories were born there.

Sunset Lake was its own universe: crabbing off the pier, water skiing across the bay, sunfish sailboats skimming over water that turned gold in the evening. Entire days shaped by tides, weather, and whatever adventure sounded fun at the moment.

Life wasn’t perfect. But it felt free.

Dodging the tram car on the boardwalk was its own kind of dance — a mix of timing, instinct, and luck. The boardwalk was alive: music spilling from arcades, chatter drifting from bars, tourists and locals moving in all directions.

Boardwalk or beach, it was hiking—the terrain never mattered, just the freedom of moving under your own power.

Surfing was different.

I learned to surf goofy foot—right foot forward—which made perfect sense for someone who’s been directionally challenged in nearly every aspect of life. Of course, I surfed backwards.

Eventually, I graduated from the pink board to a custom surfboard—orange with a navy pinstripe and white deck—the kind of board that made me feel like I truly belonged out there.

The pink board was passed down to my younger brother, Joe, and sister, Janice.

I teased Joe about surfing on a pink “girl board.” He just shrugged. “Whatever. It works.”

That was Joe. Quiet, easygoing, completely unbothered by things that didn’t matter.

Sandwiched between two sisters, he spent most of his time rescuing us without making a big deal about it.

Some friends pick up where they left off… others end with summer. Alice was an ending. She borrowed my pink board, spent hours in our basement shooting pool, laughing, lingering in the heat of long summer days. By fall, she was gone, and the season — along with her — had slipped away.

The cute little pink surfboard had seen it all — wax, salt, duct tape, and a dozen beginners finding their footing.

Our summer home was a gathering place. Sandy towels hung everywhere. Sun-faded boards leaned in corners. The smell of surf wax and salt air was permanently embedded in everything we owned.

We often hung out at the Surf Shack with Zoo-Man, Zoo, for short. We practiced sliding down a longboard propped against the wooden shack while he coached.

Back then, the beach wasn’t a destination. It was simply part of life.

It had its own rhythm: morning quiet, afternoon dancing in the sand, and early‑evening surfing.

Long before hiking trails, there were morning walks on the beach from Preston Avenue to Diamond Beach and the jetty—barefoot through wet sand while cold foam chased my ankles.

The early morning beach belonged to surfers, fishermen, runners, locals—the ones who showed up before the world got loud.

There was almost always a fisherman standing alone in the low surf, casting into waves that barely seemed awake.

By noon, we’d wander down the beach to the Barefoot Bar. The Diamond Beach Barefoot Bar was its own little world — live music drifting across the sand, barefoot people dancing near the surf, plastic cups in hand, and the warm Jersey air carrying that intoxicating feeling that summer might somehow last forever.

At the time, I didn’t realize those walks were quietly teaching me a map I would follow for the rest of my life. Not in mountains. Not in deserts. But here—in the rhythm of moving forward.

After hiking mountains, national parks, and traveling far and wide, part of me still returns…

To the ocean.
To Sunset Lake.
To long beach walks.
To the intoxicating freedom of being young at the Jersey Shore before adulthood scattered everyone in different directions.

And to the girl with the pink surfboard—long before I realized I was already learning how to wander.

Part of the Hiking Series

If My Life Were a Radio Playlist






There’s something about getting in the car
that creates a false sense of control.
Destination set.
Coffee secured.
Confidence high.

And yet—

somewhere along the way,
the plan dissolves,
decisions are made without my full consent,
and I find myself navigating situations
I was not prepared for.

If my life were a road trip,
this would be the playlist—
the moments, the miscalculations,
and the quiet acceptance
that we are just going to see how this goes.


Departure Dilemma

I finally leave the house.
Momentum achieved.
A deceptively smooth beginning — always suspicious.

Three blocks later, my brain casually informs me
that the overnight bag
is still sitting in the driveway.
Just… out there.

Watching me leave.
Like we had a plan
and it chose
not to participate.


Unexpected Road Hazard

Everything was fine.
Clear roadway ahead.

And then—

a rocking chair decides to exit a moving pickup
and openly defy physics.

It is now hurling straight at my windshield
at a speed I would classify as unwelcome.

It’s shredding mid air like homemade shrapnel.

And suddenly, I’m a target.

The chair abandons its mission
and targets someone else.
I can breathe again.


Parallel Parking Jury

No one was around.
Until I tried to park
in the only space available
a space so small
it feels like a setup.

And now—

there’s a small gathering
of strangers

watching me perform
what can only be described as

a slow, public unraveling—

with occasional pointing
for emphasis.


Coffee Override

No hesitation.
No debate.

Whatever direction I was going in
is no longer relevant.

Caffeine has spoken—
and I respect the authority.


Next Rest Area – 50 Miles

Hydration has consequences.

At the time,
it felt responsible.
Healthy, even.

Now it feels…
like a personal betrayal.

And a situation.


The Cone Vendetta

It was clearly visible.
Bright orange.
Highly avoidable.

And yet— somehow

it has attached itself to my vehicle
like an invited guest

scraping the road,
in full plastic despair.

I have emotionally divorced myself
from its journey.


Cruise Control Disconnect

Everything is fine.
The car is basically driving itself.

I am, at best,
middle management.

All is smooth—
until it misses a turn.

And I am suddenly yelling
at the car like
this is a collaboration.

Which is when I realize
it has inherited
my sense of direction.

And is now
a curse on wheels.


Golden Arches Ambush

It seemed harmless.
Just me and a small order of fries.

And then—
one seagull.
Followed by… friends.

Now I am surrounded by birds
on the hood of my car,
peering through the windshield

with the confidence of diners
who believe this is a shared meal
and I simply didn’t get the memo.


Toll Booth Incident

Everything was normal
approaching the toll.

And then—
the car next to me.
Children.
A bucket.

Suddenly— frogs.
Everywhere.

The toll collector is in the street
dancing

like a man
who has been personally
betrayed by amphibians.


The LED Love Guru

The sign flashes:

“No Valentine?
Your seatbelt will hold you.”

Absolutely not.

I refuse to take dating advice
from a road sign
that has seen things

and is one overhead sighting away
from witness protection.


In the end,
it isn’t about the road trip
or survival.

It’s about accepting
that somedays, I am
the universe’s
test subject.


If your life had a soundtrack,
what song absolutely
belongs on the playlist?



Notes from the Edge

Close enough to belong. Far enough to breathe.

Even in a herd, there’s always one that drifts to the edge.

Not lost.
Not pushed out.
Just… not standing in the center.


It’s easy to assume that one is different.

Less connected.
Less involved.
Somehow outside of it all.

But that’s not what’s happening.


The one at the edge sees more.

The movement of the group.
The shift in energy.
The subtle changes before they become obvious.

They’re not separate from the herd—
just positioned differently within it.


I’ve realized, over time…
that I tend to live there.

Not completely alone.
Not fully in the middle, either.

Somewhere just outside the center—
close enough to belong,
far enough to breathe.


I’m outgoing.
I enjoy people.
I love meaningful conversation.

But I’ve never had a wide circle.
Never felt the need to be constantly surrounded.

There’s a quiet hesitation in me—
a little bit of shyness that never fully leaves.


And sometimes…
I do step into the center.

I lean in.
I engage more.
I try to stay there.

But it rarely lasts.


Not because something dramatic happens—
but because I start to feel it.

The noise.
The expectations.
The subtle misalignments.

And without thinking too much about it,
I begin to pull back.


I don’t make an announcement.
I don’t force distance.

I just… drift.

Back to the edge
where things feel clearer again.


It’s not about people being wrong.

It’s about knowing where I’m most myself.


Horses understand this instinctively.

They don’t cling to the center for comfort.
They move when they need space.
They return when it matters.

No explanation.
No second-guessing.

Just awareness.


There’s a quiet strength in that.

Not leaving—
just repositioning.

Creating enough space
to stay grounded
without losing connection.


Maybe that’s why the edge has always felt right to me.

Not because I don’t belong in the center—
but because I don’t need to stay there
to feel connected.


Because from the edge,
you can see the whole picture.

And when you step back in—
you do it as yourself.


I don’t leave the herd—
I just know where I stand within it.

From the Lessons from the Herd series

Lessons in Optimism

Cleaning out files today… stumbled across this blog post I wrote on my anniversary – 8/7/2012. RIP David. You were the best husband a woman could ask for. The humor never ended. Miss you every day, my love. 💕

Today is our 28th wedding anniversary. We exchanged the usual hallmark cards and went about our daily tasks. On the drive home from work, I telephone hubby, who reports with great exuberance that he’s prepared surf and turf for our anniversary dinner.

I truly want to be optimistic, but this is the same man who prepared my lunch one day, and at noon, I uncovered a Ziploc baggie filled with chili!

Oh, the possibilities…

I arrived home to a serving of what must be the Welsh version of surf and turf — a slab of Tilapia …. with a handful of meatballs!

To me, surf and turf is a traditional steak with lobster duo. But for others, well, I guess it can be whatever you want to make it – in this case, fish with meatballs.

In his mind, the equation was simple: fish plus meat equals surf and turf. For a physicist, the logic was sound.

In my house, every day is a culinary journey — Bon appetit!

Feathers in the Wind

Today marks the first anniversary of my husband, David’s, death. In the quiet moments, my heart still aches.  My inner goddess continuously persuades me to get out and enjoy life.  She who cannot be ignored wisely infers that no one leaves a lasting imprint by tiptoeing through life.

In the early weeks following David’s death, the stillness woke me.  In the dark of night, I understood why people feared silence.  His memory invaded my every thought.  It was like a wicked form of torture.   I went through the motions of daily life feeling like the walking wounded. I still hear his voice in my head scolding or encouraging.  We knew each other so intimately that he would have a thought at the same time I verbalized it.   I know exactly what he would say to me in every instance.  It is comforting to feel David’s presence.

I planned to spend this weekend on a healing ride through Monument Valley with a Navajo guide named Joe. Unfortunately, the Tribal Park is closed due to the Covid-19 outbreak. Instead, I spent a quiet morning with my horses.  While snuggling my palomino, Sunrise, a small grey feather floated in space, landing near my feet.   The feather was noticed earlier in the week but disappeared. As if on cue, it reappeared today. Twirling in the breeze, it eventually landed on the toe of my fringed moccasin.  Native Americans believe the feather is a powerful symbol.   Feathers arrive unexpectedly, but always with purpose.  When a feather falls to earth, it carries a message to a living being.  The feather brings inner strength from a loved one. The symbolism is overwhelming and the hair stands up on my arms and neck.

Until you experience indelible loss, you cannot understand what it does to a person’s soul.  Life can be painful and heart-rending. The pain of loss is immeasurable. The most devastating endings usher in the next chapter in life. Over the last year, intense grief has become profound sadness.  There comes a moment when you realize everything has changed.  

I truly believe people come into our life with purpose.  The people we meet along the path teach us lessons, help us to grow emotionally, and force us to realize special moments. There are no mistakes or failures, just an evolution in time.  Each chapter in life teaches us what doesn’t work; thereby, forcing us to focus on what we need.  

A year has passed, yet here I sit with tears streaming down my face.  It is through grief that we learn to value the present.  Each of us is the architect of our life story.  Every chapter must be worth reading.  

Written April 26, 2020

Trail Mix: Horses, Nudists, and Chaos


Chrys, a work colleague, had invited me to her home for a visit. She went to the kitchen to open a bottle of wine just as the doorbell rang. Instinctively, I answered it and found Carol standing there with a flyer that read, “We’d like to see more of you.”

A quick glance told me everything I needed to know: the ride was through the nudist camp on the dirt road behind the house.

I happened to be wearing a horsey T‑shirt, which immediately sparked conversation. Carol mentioned a ride her husband, Kraus, was hosting the following weekend and invited me to join. I laughed — intrigued, if slightly alarmed — because it wasn’t clear whether the ride itself was going to be clothing‑optional.

I’ll admit, the idea of encountering a few naked people on a dusty trail was… attention‑grabbing. Double whoa. Could the Old West really coexist with a nudist camp? And more importantly, is it safe to ride a horse while barely clothed?

About fifteen of us “textiled riders” showed up on Saturday, just in time to hear Kraus and the wrangler debating the clothing‑optional rules. The wrangler, who had provided horses for the nudists, wasn’t thrilled about anyone exposing themselves while mounted. Kraus offered a compromise that helped no one: “We’ll see what happens, but I’m not wearing a dang thing.”

Minimalism, redefined

The riding outfits on this trail redefined minimalism — nothing was left to the imagination. One weekend cowboy made a bold fashion statement: denim where it mattered, and nowhere else. Another rocked a sheer lavender babydoll nightie, though I doubt anyone was focused on the color. One gentleman paired chaps with cowboy boots and… nothing in between. I can confirm there was a lot of chafing happening. Others sported various forms of ventilated jeans, including one do-it-yourself pair of shorts that defied both logic and structural integrity.

As for me, I stuck with jeans and a horsey tee, much to our host’s disappointment.

The visual hazards

I didn’t know where to aim my eyes, so I stared at my horse’s ears like they were the last safe objects on Earth. The rest of the scenery was… unnecessary. By the time we got out of that nudist camp, I’d seen enough bare acreage to qualify for a land surveyor’s license.

The cactus clown incident

One horse leaned down to sniff a cactus ball on the trail and came back up wearing what can only be described as a green clown nose. The rider was not amused by the extraction process.

Sunshine, agent of chaos

Sunshine, my trusty trail horse, liked to stay right behind the lead rider. Every time the leader stopped to wait for the group, Sunshine impatiently booted the lead horse, Lefty, on the backside.

We stopped for a picnic lunch, and I led Sunshine to the table to grab an Italian sub and a paper cup of apple cider. Sunshine sniffed the sub and decided it was hers. While I was busy extracting salami and onions from her mouth, she grabbed the cider cup, wobbled it back and forth, and spilled cider everywhere. My angel had officially transformed into the nudist devil horse.

The home stretch

Despite the chaos, the ride continued. We navigated trails with naked and clothed riders alike, dodging thorns, cacti, and exuberant horses. Sunshine and I survived unscathed, though I spent a good portion of the ride praying, “Please, Lord, don’t let any horse — or bare‑assed rider — back into a cactus.”

By the end, it was clear: the wrangler‑provided horses were far better behaved than some of the human participants. Out on the trail, the humans showed off their bare essentials, while the horses remained steady, reliable, and remarkably unbothered. I’ve ridden a lot of trails in my life, but this was the only one where the humans were more exposed than the cactus — and the horses more dependable than the riders.

I survived it, laughed about it, and filed it firmly under “great story, zero interest in a sequel.”